Women don’t always make it completely obvious that they want to have sex with you.
Sometimes, when a woman says, “No” to sex, what she really means is, “Not yet.”
Why don’t women just say what they really mean when it comes to sex?
Some of the main reasons why a woman will say “No” when she really means “Yes” or “Not yet” include:
1. She doesn’t want to look “too easy” in your eyes
If you meet a woman and she immediately says, “Let’s have sex” or makes it too easy to have sex with her, you may then find it difficult to fully trust her when in a serious relationship.
If she goes out to a bar or nightclub with her girlfriends without you by her side, you might think, “I had sex with her very easily, so if she has a few drinks and is feeling horny, who knows what she might do?!”
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2. She wants to test your confidence
Women are are attracted to the strength in men (i.e. confidence, masculinity) and turned off by the weakness (e.g. being nervous around women, shy around women, clingy in a relationship and insecure about his value to her).
The more confident you are, the more that a woman will feel sexually turned on by you.
However, if she tests your confidence by playing hard to get when leading up to sex and sees that you become nervous and begin to doubt yourself, then she will know that you’re not a truly confident guy.
She will then assume that you’re probably just another typical guy who is hoping to get lucky with a girl who “gives you a chance.”
Women don’t want to have sex with guys who aren’t truly confident.
Something about it just turns women off at a deep level.
What is that something?
Well, a woman wants to know that the guy she is having sex with is going to be able to keep her safe and handle the challenges of life.
If his confidence is so fragile that he can’t handle a woman playing a little hard to get, then she assumes that his confidence won’t be strong enough to handle challenging people in life.
If she happens to get pregnant to him, what would that mean for her future and the future of the offspring? Would she ever feel safe?
These are not questions that a woman literally asks herself.
Her instincts automatically assess a guy’s attractiveness (i.e. worthiness of having sex with and potentially breeding with) based on how he makes her feel when they interact.
In other words, do her instincts warn her that he is a guy who lacks confidence, or assure her that he is a confident guy who could potentially keep her safe and handle the challenges of life?
Another reason why a woman might say, “No” to having sex when she really means, “Not yet” or “Yes” is….
3. She is fighting with her self-image
Many women go through life trying to confirm to the standards that society expects of them.
In the past, that meant a woman would have to wait until marriage before having sex.
Although millions of men and women had a one night stand last night, society still expects women to be quiet about it and not go around saying that they enjoy sex so much.
Even though a woman might want to have sex with you immediately, she will often say “No” because she’s trying to conform to the superficial identity she has to live with, day in and day out, to be seen as an “acceptable” or classy woman in society.
4. She likes to build the tension that way
Building sexual tension by not allowing sex to happen immediately
Some women enjoy playing with a guy and making him “work for it” for a while.
They get turned on by the tension and anticipation of what is potentially going to happen. She can go home and masturbate herself and fantasize about how the sex might be when it happens.
She’ll fall asleep daydreaming of the first time you will have sex and will imagine herself doing all sorts of naughty things.
When the sex finally happens, it will be a beautiful release of tension for her and if you can make her orgasm, that will be a welcome bonus.
However, if you lose confidence in yourself while she is playfully resisting sex to build up tension, she will start to lose interest in you.
She wants to see that you maintain confidence in your attractiveness to her even though she is playing hard to get initially.
In most cases, a woman like that will have dumped many guys who lost confidence and never got to have sex with her.
She doesn’t just want to have sex with any guy.
She wants a truly confident guy who doesn’t crumble and become insecure when she playfully resists sex for a while initially.
If you can handle the pressure, you will get the reward and she will love you and not want to leave you.
Another reason why a woman will often initially say, “No” to sex is…
5. She’s not feeling enough attraction for you
Sometimes, a woman will be saying no to sex because she’s just not that turned on by the guy’s approach.
For example: A guy might be acting very nice, sweet and polite and hoping to get lucky with her, but she’s just not feeling attracted because he’s also being nervous, hesitant and anxious around her.
Women are attracted to the emotional strength of men (e.g. confidence) and turned off by emotional weakness (e.g. nervousness, anxiety), so when a guy is trying to get laid and is displaying unattractive traits, the woman just might not be that into it.
Women do appreciate it when a guy is being nice, sweet and polite, but ONLY if they respect him (i.e. she can look up to him and respect him as a man) and feel sexually attracted to him.
If a woman is feeling turned off, no amount of niceness is going to make her wet.
When “No” Really Does Mean “No”
There are times when women say “No” to sex and they really mean it.
If a woman firmly pushes you away, raises her voice when saying “No!” or is clearly serious about not having sex, then she usually isn’t messing you around.
If that’s the case, then obviously you shouldn’t proceed any further.
If you ever find yourself in a situation where you’re getting sexual with a woman and she then starts being weird about it, don’t beg or plead for her to have sex with you, don’t whine and don’t try to convince her that she really does want to have sex with you.
In the situations where a woman really doesn’t want to have sex, just stop trying at all – it’s not worth the hassle.
Most of the time when a woman says “No” to sex, but doesn’t forcefully push you away, she just wants you to give her a little more time; whether that be two more minutes, two more hours, two days or two weeks.
Playfully resisting sex
When “No” Means “Yes”
You and a beautiful woman are hugging and kissing each other passionately and you decide that you want to take things up a notch.
Slowly, you work your way up to her breasts and start to caress them from the outside.
You may even get as far as unbuckling her bra and slipping your hand under her top. Up until now, she’s right there along with you.
She’s responding to your kisses and strokes and is maybe even stroking you back, but as your hand touches her naked skin under her top, she says, “No…we shouldn’t” or “Stop” or gives you another obvious signal that she doesn’t want you to go further, such as forcefully moving your hand away.
Does she really mean for you to stop completely?
For the moment let’s assume that, yes, she really does want you to stop and to respect her wish.
If that’s the case, just kick back and relax with her on the bed, couch or wherever you are.
On the other hand, if she didn’t push you away forcefully, then she is most-likely just trying to look innocent in your eyes.
Simply relax for a few minutes and then begin kissing and cuddling again. When she gets into it and you can hear her moaning, proceed to begin unzipping her jeans/lifting up her skirt, etc.
If she doesn’t stop you, then sex is only a few moments away.
Of course, if she does stop you, just stop and respect her pace. She might not want to have sex right away, the next time or even next week, so make sure you respect that.
Some women are just teases who love the feeling of the chase.
They enjoy the start and stop action and how it affects a man, often turning him into her willing slave – ready to do anything or say anything that pleases her, in the hope that she will finally give in and submit to sex.
This can get very tiring for and frustrating for a guy and depending on how much you like her, you need to decide whether she is worth the hassle.
The best strategy with women like this is to reverse the situation on her.
Get her turned on with some passionate kissing and when she grabs your penis, tell her “Wait…not yet…” and then slow things down to a hug.
Wait a minute or two, then get started again and turn her on with some slow kissing (not passionate, strong kissing like before).
When she tries to grab your lower-regions again, say, “Okay, just for a bit, but we are stopping after a minute…” Good luck trying to stop!