Warning: Could be a little gross to certain unsuspecting eyes …
Japanese WTF Orgy Sex Party Photos
Regret not having more sexual partners
I grew up religious and only have had one sexual partner; my husband. I am pregnant with my first child and found out he has been cheating on me. I don’t want to stay with him much longer but my question isn’t about him. I’m 31 years old and don’t even know how to go about getting into dating again. How do you keep yourself from feeling guilty and have sex outside of being married? I know this sounds stupid but I’m still young and feel I’ve missed out on a lot, especially since my partner has not been faithful to me.
TheMagicalKingdom6: Yep that’s a fairly common attitude among former or current religious people. Guilt is one of their primary motivators when it comes to sex and lifestyle decisions.
There’s really only two options: first, try to ignore your pangs of conscience and figure sex is not a big deal (if done with consent, and done safely) or two, focus on being a mother for now and put all those desires on hold until you can process the grief and actually learn what you want as an independent adult, no longer under the control of a cheating husband or of a religion you no longer believe in.
Viking7598: The dating apps are cool – you can really choose if you want to see someone to possibly move into relationships etc or just hook up to have sex (you can tell from people’s profiles).
As someone who has had more than one married woman as a sexual partner I can tell you that feeling guilty is entirely normal. All of the women I saw had either been cheated on, were treated horribly or a combination of the two and still felt terribly guilty at having sex with another guy. It’s not your fault remember that. Seriously.
Nixie_D: I’m taking the approach that you’re looking at exploring once your separated from your husband.
You use the same apps/sites as everyone else. Don’t feel pressured to have sex on the first date, most people don’t (that’s the reality). Use protection (condoms are a must), talk about sex before you get into it (what you like, what you don’t like). Be honest about what you want, people may tell you what you want to hear for a quick lay (a tell tale is “meet and see where it goes” = looking for a hook up, people interested in a relationship say so).
Know what you want and what you don’t want, it’s okay if that takes a bit to work out. Be honest about having a kid, and know that will likely limit your dating pool a bit.
snozzberrypatch: Religion is designed to make you feel guilty about certain things. Don’t want to feel guilty? Ditch religion! You’ll feel a lot better.
I’ve been atheist for most of my life, and my outlook on life is that we only get one shot. I don’t believe in an afterlife. I believe that when we die, everything fades to black and never comes back, and our bodies decompose and turn into dirt, and that’s it, for eternity. While this belief might seem dark and depressing to some, it actually serves as my motivation to make the best of the short time that I have here. It makes me want to experience life to its fullest. This includes experiencing sex with a variety of people that I find attractive, making them feel good, and making myself feel good. In what universe does it make sense for you to feel guilty about feeling good?
I agree with you: you’ve missed out on a lot. I think you should release your inner slut and go find some attractive men to have great sex with. And don’t worry about God. Any god worth worshipping wouldn’t want you to feel guilty about doing the one thing that makes you feel great and alive.
drty_throw_pillow: Somewhat similar to me… I got divorced from my first partner and wife a few years back (and unfortunately who has now passed because of mental illness). I felt the same way.
The good news is, you are going to be free to date and have more partners! Don’t pine for what could have been. You have a lot of time to look forward and ahead of you to have more partners, and awesome new experiences.
Edit: oh and the religion thing. Same boat for me. But you’re not a virgin anymore, so does it really apply? You’d also be surprised how many single people in our age group who maintain some faith are good to get it on without the rings.
JovialPanic389: Don’t regret it. There’s a lot of shitty things out there and issues that can occur no matter what precaution you take – like freakin herpes.
jl_av: go on vacations. i suggest south beach.