Trieste Kelly Dunn
Chanel Christian Gray
Pregnant from a one night stand.
I just found out that I’m pregnant, the only possibility would be this one night stand that I had a little over a month ago. I don’t remember much of it, not even the guys’ name. I have kinda weird feelings–I don’t want to have a kid, but having an abortion seems really scary and intimidating. I’m 100% pro-choice, but I’ve never had an abortion before and it’s so intimidating to go at it alone.
I also don’t want to tell anyone, because I don’t want to deal with the questions that people will ask regarding how I got pregnant, who the dad is, etc. I don’t know a lot of those answers. At the same time, I really feel like I need to talk to someone about this.
I also just feel really isolated, not to mention physically ill and exhausted. I’m so overwhelmed! I’ve been crying a lot since I found out and feeling panicked. What should I do?
pearlescents: not trying to sway you one way or another, but you mentioned it, so i’ll share my particular experience with abortion.
it really wasn’t that bad. i’ve always had a child free mindset so maybe that helped make it easier on me but i was sad for about a day or two afterwards, physically uncomfortable for a few more days, and after that i was fine. it doesn’t always have to be the horror story you hear about. if you consider it an option for you, then don’t brush it off bc of scary stories. talk to a professional about it.
Finewithme2: Planned Parenthood can help. You need someone to talk to without an agenda.
wizardthrow: Do you have close friends or anyone you can trust to talk to? You really shouldn’t be going through this alone.
Kit4000: No one can tell you what to do but anyone who cares to support you should be ok doing so without asking questions. I have had to make the decision myself once and I struggled with the beliefs I was raised with and what I wanted for myself long term. And in a moment of honest clarity I knew what I wanted to do. I wish you the best.
If you shut out everything else you will know what the best thing is.
Cheyenne_010: I feel like you are okay with an abortion you’re just scared ? You mentioned that you had never done it before and I’m quit sure that’s the case for many , everyone has to experience it for a first time . I’m sure that there are people at clinics that you can talk to who are judgment free and there to help you emotionally through the process. Planned parenthood is also a great place for it. I really hope that you are able to figure out what you want to do. Don’t let the fear of experiencing this stop you from doing it , if that’s what you want , I’m sure it’s very hard and I could not imagine but there are people who are more than willing to help you deal with this.
medievaleagle: You’re the only one who can make this decision. Really look at the life.you have, and the life you want, and then look at how *everything* will change if you go through with this pregnancy. You *will* be doing this alone. All the good and the bad (and babies/children are *not* 100% roses and unicorns. I wouldnt even say they are 50%, but mine are older and puberty is a fresh kind of hell). Parenting is the hardest and most isolating job you will ever have, and its a lot of give and not a lot of reward, especially in the beginning. *everything* will change..your sleep. Your body. Your physical health. Your mental health. Your emotional health. Your financial status. You wont be able to just do what you want, when you want- you will have another life to consider who had no say in its existence. Your relationships (most likely) will suffer- i had a large group of friends that dwindled down to 1 when i had my first, and i havent made any real friends since, because kids take up a lot of your life. Alone time is out. Everyone, and i mean *everyone* will assume that your life is their business once they know you are knocked up. Everyone will offer opinions and “advice” and anecdotes. You will be judged.
All. That said- i love my kids. But if i had a do-over? Yeah…. no kids for me. No one tells you just *how much* everything changes. Parenthood is not all sunshine and roses. And i could not imagine doing it alone.
Europaenceladus: You could always go for adoption if you don’t want a child or an abortion. I can’t tell you what to do, but it seems like there are so many people who ignore the adoption choice.
iaminsamity: She’s mentioned she’s alone too – so no support system. Kids are awesome, sure – for some – when they’re wanted. But they’re also the hardest “job” on the planet.
I got pregnant from a one night stand – who i ended up marrying (and it’s not a great marriage – surprise!) and our son is amazing. And autistic. And difficult. And the best thing I’ve ever come across. And he makes my days long and hard and i cry and i laugh…. it’s just so much. I don’t want to say that if i could go back in time that i wouldn’t do it – but i have a huge support system and it’s still so so so hard.
Planned parenthood or the like will be the best bet to talk through everything.
Water_Vole: You have something many women would be so envious of: a child. More than that, one you can bring up alone, exactly how you want to. So you’ll be a single parent? Like about 75% of families. Congratulations. Having children is wonderful. It’s a life in there.
Chuckox50: It seems certain that the father is Justin Bieber. You should seek child support if you do decide to have the baby