So I guess I love being dominant? Always thought I loved being the submissive one.
Feel like sharing, and also would love input on ladies who’ve discovered this side of themselves.
In all things sexual, I’ve always behaved (and enjoyed) being always on the submissive end. I always take the lead from where I’m directed. I literally “obey” whatever is requested of me (obviously within boundaries & respect).
The only time during sex where I am more ‘in control’ is when I’m blowing my guy, it’s always my favourite part, controlling when he orgasms, I think it’s super hot. Now – that is the only time where I am remotely ever ‘dominant’ – every other time, he can do basically anything he wants and finish whenever he wants (I guess I’m quite the self-less lover – but I do enjoy myself in everything – like I said – everything is still ‘respectful’).
Just the other night, I did something, very “out of character” of me. We were going at it, hard and rough, usually this always ends when him pulling out and finishing on me. When he stops thrusting, is entirely his timing/decision. Not this time, he was going to town on me, and immediately, I physically shoved him off/out of me, ripped the condom off his dick, and “I” went to town on his dick, and gave him the most roughest/wettest head I’ve ever given, and just told him “you can cum now”. He was literally taken aback. I’m pretty sure he had to do a double take to make sure he was with the same person, I have no idea where this persona came from, but it turned me on like crazy, and it did too to him, needless to say, it was one of the most hottest orgasm he experienced, and I’ve never been so satisfied being in control of him finishing.
When all said and done, I absolutely adored him exclaiming “where the hell did this person come from? I love it!” – maybe it’s not entirely “dominating” him per se, but it was in my books, now I’m turned on by it, and want more (I’m still pretty vanilla though, haha).
Ladies (and gentlemen) suggestions for me?
emurry123: I think it’s time for you to go buy yourself some handcuffs and blindfold to slap on him…
ireasearch: I only realized this was an option a few years back. I love being the dominant one.
If a guy needs a submissive woman, he is not the guy for me.
whomisshe: I can fully relate to this. I kind of tolerated vanilla or lightly spicy sex with guys who assumed they were just going to take the dominant role and I didn’t especially *enjoy* it, but felt like it had more to do with my not liking *men* so much as not liking that particular role. Since I’ve been in my current relationship with a relatively submissive (though thankfully not lazy or selfish) guy, turns out I actually love taking the lead during sex. It doesn’t have to be all bondage and blindfolds and going straight to pegging! Something I love is just laying him down and making the foreplay last *forever* – going from very slow, languid kissing to harder/hotter making out, and then just taking my time undressing him and kissing his entire body. Use your hands, scratch him lightly with your nails, leave marks and hickies on his torso and inner thighs, all while deftly ignoring his dick until he actually begs you to touch it. I love the “I own this and I’ll do whatever I want with it” vibe and it’s so hot without being cheesy.
Dirty talk is good – make him beg you to come. Give him time limits, tell him “You can come when I count to ten” and then really take your time getting there (nine and a quarter, nine and a half, nine and seven-eighths, etc.). Edge him if he’s into that. Tie him up while you edge him if he likes it the first time. Find different positions to do the stuff you already like – my boyfriend is a foot taller than I am, so I like to have him kneel on the floor to give me head while I lie on the bed because not only is the angle perfect, but it just adds a little more of a power dynamic to it (and he can use his hands better than when I sit on his face). Initiate sex in a way that makes it very clear that you’re the boss, by straddling him on the couch or whatever, gently pull his hair while you’re making out, put your fingers inside yourself and then let him suck on them, etc. If you’re into it, you can make little demands before the foreplay physically starts – I like to ask my guy what he’s going to order at the restaurant or bar, and then order for him when the waiter/bartender comes back, and it just gently sets the mood. (Your guy might not be into this since men can be weird about being “emasculated” or whatever, but it’s such a subtle non-sexual thing to do in public that still turns my boyfriend on like crazy.)
What else… it’s hard to say what is and isn’t too kinky for you, but the whole “you’re mine, your body/cock/mouth belongs to me” vibe is just hot as hell and can be scaled up or down as necessary. Ask him whose cock it is when he’s inside you! Tell him he’s such a good boy/pet and you’re going to reward him by letting him come wherever he wants, or tell him he better not come anywhere but inside you because that belongs to you! Set really easy/impossibly hard tasks for him to “fail” at, then punish him in whatever way you’re both into (spanking, edging, face-sitting, he owes you X number of orgasms, whatever)!
Aaaanyway I hope this was helpful.
tenebris-alietum: People who like both submissive and dominant roles, and play one according to mood or partner are called “switches” and it’s a thing. So it’s possible to be both.
SoFetchBetch: Yeah I like this thing too. My bf has been slow to warm to the idea of being dominated but now he’s very curious and I enjoy doing it to him. Currently I enjoy teasing him and stimulating him manually or orally then taking a break for awhile until he’s bucking and dripping and begging to fuck me. I keep this going until I know he’s close to orgasm then I jump on top of him and fuck him hard and deep until he spills it all inside me. He says this is the most intense orgasm for him.
judenpuben: My wife will tell me I’m not allowed to cum until she says so even when I am jackhammering her. That little glance of a Dom in her sends me over the edge and I inevitabkly bust shortly thereafter lol