“I Got Her Home. Now What?” (How to Get Her Into Bed)
Maybe it’s your third date with the cute girl from the bookstore. Maybe it’s late into your first date with the woman you’ve been flirting with on OKCupid for a week. Maybe it’s a spontaneous thing – you met her at your friend’s party and there was just an instant spark. Maybe you met at a coffeehouse and hit it off and she invited you back to her place to watch videos.
However you got there, the important detail is that there’s a girl. In your pad. On your couch. Surely at this point it’s all over bar the squishy noises and passionate moaning, right?
Just because you’re within reach of home plate doesn’t mean that you still can’t be tagged out if you make the wrong move. It doesn’t take terribly much to turn a sure thing into nothing and you’re left at home with the remote and a raging sense of frustration.
It doesn’t have to be that way. You’ve worked this hard just to get her to this point, it seems like a shame to fuck it up now. If you want to make sure that tonight’s the night, you have to know how to play your cards right. You have to know how to make her want you just as much as you want her.
You have to know how to seduce her.
Prepare Your Pad
The first step starts long before she ever came anywhere near your front door. In fact, the first step starts long before you even meet her that night.
Your first step is to make sure your place is ready. The last thing you need is to get cockblocked by your own apartment. You want your places to be as girl-friendly as possible. Scrub that sucker from top to bottom, take out the trash, air out the rooms, change your sheets, collect the laundry and for fuck’s sake get anything resembling porn out of sight. This includes lad mags like Maxim and FHM. If you have any questions, just subtract; less will always be more in this case.
Pro Tip: You may want to put a few drops of vanilla extract on the bulbs on the lamps in your bedroom and living room. As the lamps heat up, they will evaporate the extract, leaving the subtle scent of vanilla in the air. There’s a reason why perfumers have been adding vanilla notes to perfumes and colognes.
Next, you want to make sure that you’re stocked for all contingencies. Condoms are an obvious necessity; keep a supply in the night stand right next to your bed so you can reach for them without looking. You also want to make sure that you have a supply of fresh towels and wash cloths in the bathroom.
Stock the fridge and the liquor cabinet in advance. Strawberries are almost always welcome, as are chocolate. If at all possible, you want a good red wine, a good white wine and some basic alcohol and mixers. In addition, you want some basic breakfast possibilities; eggs, cereal, coffee. If she’s going to be staying the night then you’re going to want to be able to provide breakfast in the morning as well.
Preparation includes the feng-shui of the rooms too, by the way. You want your living room to be set up so that she’ll be sitting on the couch next to you, rather than in the chair across the room from you. Move the chairs and ottomans to the edges and far corners; sitting there will feel awkward and exclusionary rather than a natural place to sit. You want to have some things that you can do together set up within easy reach as well; photo books, coffee table collections of famous art, puzzles, something. DVDs should be available as well.
You need to realize that just by coming back to your house with you is a huge step for women. She knows that she’s put her self at risk by being there; you don’t want to force her to make the decision as to whether she’s sleeping with you that night just because she came over. If it’s already a foregone conclusion that you’re going to have sex, if you’re mauling each other before you even get through the front door, then by all means, just pick her up and carry her straight to your bedroom.
If it isn’t, however, you need to be willing to take your time; nobody ended up missing out on sex because they were patient. You need to make her comfortable, not just with your presence but also with the possibility of sex. You need to be willing to take small steps. The more comfortable she is with you and with the idea that sex may happen, the less likely you are to have things come to a screeching halt. So take it slow.
Start off in the living room; sitting together on the couch will be far less intimidating than by taking her straight back to your bedroom. Bring her a drink, look through some photographs together or put on a movie. Let her become more at ease before you make the first move.
Set The Mood
Atmosphere counts when it comes to seduction, so make sure you’re sending the right signals. Subtle is the rule of the game here; you don’t want to come off as a player, but some confidence and assurance will make all the difference in the world. To start with, as nervous as you might be on the inside, you need to project an air of calmness. Whether this is your first time ever or your fortieth, you will be setting the tone for the evening. If you’re jittery and uncomfortable,she’ll feel jittery and uncomfortable and then you’ll be lucky to have a handshake goodnight. Instead, you need to convey that having a girl over to your place is the most natural thing in the world. She will already be nervous; it’s your job to be the her rock.
You can’t tell by looking at him, but he’s thinking “Oh godohgodohgodwhatdoidonext??”
It is hard to go wrong with a little romance. Dim the lights when you sit down. Have a playlist prepared in advance and ready to play over the speakers. You don’t necessarily want Barry White or Al Green, but you do want music that works at a low volume. You want to keep distractions to a minimum; they will only serve to break the mood, and you want to avoid that wherever possible.