I can’t have an orgasm [21F]
So basically title. I’ve been with five different partners and none can get me there. My last boyfriend was 8 years older than me and the fact that I couldn’t, started to really effect his “ego” and he made me feel bad about it. It become more of a game that he was trying to win. Which totally put me off to sex with him. My newest partner is phenomenal and makes me feel the best I’ve ever felt sexually. I definitely feel more relaxed like I could possible have one. I haven’t tried much myself but obviously I really want to experience that feeling. I’ve had a lot of people tell me that it’s easier for women to find out what works for themselves first. I’ve been sexually active since I was 17 but never actually “explored myself.” Does that help?
TLDR: how do I get in the right headspace to have a orgasm
gamer_zzzz: Yes, masturbate and find what works for yourself before expecting someone else to figure it out.
skatexloni: Are you looking to experience an orgasm via piv sex? Most women I believe experience orgasms more so via oral, and specifically clitoral play. I personally find, that too much going on at one time can be distracting and to the point where it’s not gonna happen. Even so much as having fingers or dick in me while my clit is played with is too much and distracting . Playing with yourself is key to finding what you like. If you don’t know what you like you can’t find the comfort with your partner to kinda readjust what you want.
Get a small vibrating wand. You’ll thank me later. Lol
MastersNeko: Agreed. You need to explore yourself more. See I am opposite of the person who wrote you above me. I love when my husband is in me and I am playing with myself or he plays with me. And as for a PIV orgasm I don’t know that I have had one of those and honestly I am cool with that. But I have had an orgasm through anal sex and that’s fucking crazy amazing. My partner always finds a way to please me and keep me happy. Hence why he’s so good with his mouth. ;3
Everyone is different. There is no standard as to how someone should orgasm. Be patient with yourself and your body.
meltallica82: I assume there is clit stimulation involved in trying to help you orgasm? A large percentage of women can’t orgasm from penetrative sex alone so clit stimulation is needed. I’d suggest you consider purchasing a simple vibrator and experiment with that yourself. If you can get yourself there then hopefully that’ll help you achieve an orgasm with your partner.
redhotsausagepants: It’s helped me and I’m a bloke.
You should explore yourself totally.
There are redditors that do you reviews on toys.
There all easy to chat to girls.
Who if you know what kinda gets you going. They’ll be able to tell you what’s the best toy.
You won’t get it on your first try.
And then if you get on with this new guy well. Don’t say it to him about the orgasims.
But maybe go through some new positions
You might just find the one that hits the spot
There are (yes no maybe) forms on the net. These can help you.
Find one that’s general about couples sex and just fill it out on your own.
It will give you a direction you would like to explore
Hope this helped
Best of luck
WildWellington: Go and find one of those “pressing down on the pelvis while he fucks upward” posts that have been popular here. And do that.