It is amazing that when I read over My First… Bang that the method in which I used to lose my virginity was so simple and effective. What’s even more amazing is that I used this same method to acquire the overwhelming majority of my bangs whilst in college.
The thing is until recently I never actually used this method consciously to get girls, rather after writing Big Man On Campus I was able to look back and essentially reverse-engineer my hookups. This is what it looks like:
Find DTF Girl
Relentlessly push the interaction towards sex
Again, I didn’t consciously follow this formula; rather it just happened that way. It’s no coincidence this formula is the most effective way for me to GET LAID That’s all that matters, so that’s all I’m going to discuss. I have no idea how many women I made out with in college. Nor do I have any idea how many phone numbers I got. All I know is that all the jokes and stories I told, all the drinking, all the nights going out and trying to get laid didn’t matter.
Danielle Richardson Railing
I can’t say that every girl I’ve ever banged I followed this formula, but for quick, no nonsense hookups this is how it went down.
Is getting laid all the time as easy as following this formula? No, but it can be. If all you want to do is get laid, than don’t beat around the bush.
Another thing to keep in mind is that this formula works best at certain venues such as bars and clubs.
Before we start, keep in mind the single most important thing you can do in terms of getting laid is to “Go out and open your mouth”. By doing that at the bare minimum you’re putting yourself in the position to succeed. I want you to keep that in mind.
Here is the formula broken down:
Step 1: Find DTF Girl
The reason I emphasize finding a DTF girl is because if the girl is not ‘Down to Fuck’ than you’re just wasting your time.
Mystery once proclaimed that he could seduce 5/5 girls he approached; bullshit. No matter how powerful your game or how good your looks are, some girls will just not be interested in having sex with you. Reasons for this could include being in a relationship, being sober, being too drunk (although being drunk is usually a good thing), being on her period etc.
Okay so we know that not every girl in the bar will be DTF. Your goal is to find one that is.
In order to do this you have two options:
Do a bunch of approaches and then determine if they’re DTF, or
Look for signs that these girls are interested in hooking up with a guy THAT NIGHT without even opening your mouth.
Both options will get the job done, but I prefer option 2 for several reasons:
Time Efficiency: Time plays an obvious role when you’re out at night seeing as bars close at a particular time. Even if they didn’t you would probably run out of gas at some point. Doing 20 cold approaches a night may yield results, but there’s no point in doing more than necessary if you take the time to pick out a target. Also, while you’re spending time approaching girls with boyfriends, the DTF girl’s in the club may have already left with another guy.
Energy Expenditure: Some nights I will be in the mood to open every chick in sight. Usually alcohol is involved or I’m just in an energetic mood. This isn’t too imply that I’m a party pooper when I go out, but I’m aware of my weak points. It’s much easier for me mentally to do a few solid, well calibrated approaches as opposed to running around like a chicken with my head cut off.
Desperation: If you go with the latter method of running around like a chicken with its head cut off, girls will take notice. When you end up approaching them they’ll have seen you get shot down by other girls and that will lower you chances.
For the reasons I’ve laid out I’d recommend the 2nd option, but I’ve used both so I will run through examples of both later on.
So, how do you tell if a girl is DTF? Here’s a few tell tale signs that I look for:
These girls are often dressed to impress. Oftentimes women will do this just for validation and to compete with other girls in the club, but if a chick is dressed sloppy than you know she’s not getting any action that night.
They’re frequently looking around to see who’s looking at them and sizing up potential suitors. People look at things that interest them. If she’s staring at her phone than you can see what her priorities are.
She’s drinking, but not obnoxious amounts. Alcohol is the magic elixir that helps women be less reluctant to have one night stands and more open to guys hitting on them.
She touches you. If she reciprocates your touch that’s good. If she initiates the touching that’s great. Touching is a physical act that is a sign of things to come.
See Further Reading for More Examples.
Step 2: Isolate Her
Unless you’re at a swinger’s club, it’s unlikely you will be having sex in front of other people. Not only is isolating important for hooking up, in the cases where you won’t be having lightning fast sex it gives you an opportunity to get to know her better.
Also, if a girl is not willing to move to let’s say a quiet corner of the bar, how can you expect her to leave the venue with you? If she doesn’t agree to move with you, then drop it. Sometimes a girl may seem DTF, but actually getting her to walk the walk and well…walk will let you know what’s up.
Forget the blaring music.
Forget the cockblocking friend.
Forget the ‘thirsty’ dudes.
Get some privacy where you two can chat with one another, get close, make out and of course escalate. Which leads me to step three.
Step 3: Relentlessly push the interaction towards sex
Okay so here’s where it gets a bit muddled up. Let’s say you’re making out with a girl on the back patio of a bar. You’ve been chatting for a little while and you want to pull. First of all you already have her isolated, but you’re going to want to isolate her again to have sex. So I suppose there are two separate times when you will isolate her, but worry about getting her away from her friends first; that’s important.
Immediately after isolating the girl initially, you’re going to begin relentlessly pushing the interaction towards sex (i.e. sexually escalating). It sets the tone for the interaction. From the time you’ve isolated her, to the time your dick is inside her, you should continue to escalate.
Make sense? Cool.
From here it’s on. Keep ramping up the escalation until you bang. You will likely be met with some resistance along the way, so just approach it from the two steps forward, one step back perspective.
Grab her ass. Pull her hair as you kiss her. You know the drill.
My favorite move is to put her hand on your dick. When she starts going to town it’s game over; you’re ejaculating one way or another.
Again, if she puts up protest which is almost always inevitable, just ramp it down a bit. If she’s in your bed she is already attracted to you, duh! Maybe she won’t bang, but if you’re persistent enough she will. She realizes sex is on the table and it’s just a matter of how long till you fuck her. Could be minutes, could be days (if it’s any longer than that you probably shouldn’t waste your time though).
LMR (Last Minute Resistance) is common in hookups and is something that could probably use more discussion. However, if you select your targets wisely it should be less of an issue.
Keep pushing unless:
She gets up and leaves
She calls the cops
She finishes you off with a blowjob, or god forbid a handjob
And without further ado…
Step 4: Bang
You take it from here chief…
Why This Works
The reason I advocate this method is because if a girl is ready and willing to sleep with you, doing anything but sexually escalating quickly will only hurt your odds. If she’s attracted to you and horny, then there’s nothing left to do but isolate and bang.
This process can vary in length, but it should usually happen pretty quickly. I have another example where it took me about 10 minutes to seal the deal. Something like that is rarer though, because it really comes down to logistics at that point. Try and make things happen as fast as possible, because the longer you wait the more room for error and obstacles you allow (See Escalation Windows in Further Reading).
As for the formula itself, it is pretty straightforward which is why I like it. Original PUA formulas like the Mystery Method we’re much too complicated for me.
For example, here’s a picture of the Mystery Method laid out:
That’s not quite rocket science, but it makes getting laid harder than it should be. And then I realized something… the Mystery Method is about more than just getting laid; it’s about seduction.
Having quick emotionless, raw, dirty sex with a stranger =/= seduction. The word seduction comes from Latin and literally means “to lead astray.” When I think of seduction I think of Casanova, someone who really wooed women and took the time to make this woman fall under his spell.
Seduction is not required to get laid. Seducing a women is a much more gradual and arduous process than simply getting laid. To get laid fast you must simply exploit horny women for your sexual pleasure. If you want to learn to seduce women that is fine, but I’d rather seduce a women AFTER sex, because if things don’t pan out than hey, at least I got my rocks off.
If you guys reading this take the time to look at your hookups, you may realize that most of your bangs follow this same formula. It’s nothing revolutionary; it’s just not often laid out and broken down so simply.
While I said earlier having a rigid process when meeting girls is detrimental to me, having a clear objective in mind and using a simple 4 step process to achieve that outcome really helps.
Next time you want to have sex with a stranger, I suggest using this formula. Let me know what you think.