Girlfriend won’t go down on me
I go down on my girlfriend every time we have sex because she can’t orgasm from penetration alone. Sometimes, I go down on her when we’re not even having sex, just because I want her to cum. I don’t particularly enjoy the taste or anything, but I do it so often because I LOVE making/hearing/seeing her in pleasure.
However, I’m starting to get upset because she will never go down on me. She’s done it twice in the past, both times when she was drunk. Last night, she was on her period, so we didn’t have sex, but I touched her until climax. Then I asked if she’d give me a blowjob for a bit. She reluctantly goes down, has it in her mouth for two seconds, then stops and says she can’t! She says it’s her gag reflex but she only had the tip in. Seriously, I’ve seen her take bigger bites out of a hotdog.
I am I major clean freak, and pride myself on my good hygiene. I had literally just gotten out of the shower before we started fooling around. So it isn’t that.
I just feel like she’s being a selfish lover. Isn’t part of sex in a relationship doing stuff that your partner likes, even if it’s not your favorite? I’m almost tempted to not go down on her anymore. It’s not like I enjoy the feeling being down there, but her pleasure is worth it to me. Does anyone have any advice?
kanod13: Same here I could literally lick my wife for hours then she’ll lick the tip for 5 minutes and act like her jaw hurts.
57001: > Isn’t part of sex in a relationship doing stuff that your partner likes, even if it’s not your favorite?
To an extent! Some people are eager to please. I know I’m that kind of person. Generous lover, or whatever people call it.
But, I don’t think she necessarily owes you oral sex as reciprocation. The idea is to never expect something when you give something, I’ve learned. If this is a deal-breaker, then it’s a deal-breaker, y’know? Does she always *ask* you to go down on her? If she does, then she should absolutely be giving more effort to please you in a similar manner. Either way, there is a conversation to be had.
AllieKat7: Talk to her!
There are many reasons a woman is not comfortable giving a guy a blowjob. Blowjobs are more invasive of personal space than eating a girl out. And sex should never be about quid pro quo.
Quick personal story… I didn’t give my husband head more than a handful of times for over ten years. I was assaulted as a kid and the PTSD of it made it literally impossible to most of the time, and when I could I cried the whole time. Because my husband never stressed me about it, I was able to eventually work through my issues.
Not saying this happened to your girl, but even one bad time when a guy jammed it in too far can leave a girl with a mental block. So, talk to her! Make her feel safe, make her comfortable, don’t talk out of resentment that she hasn’t been doing it well. Be kind and talk to her.
artnerdhippie: As someone with an extremely sensitive gag reflex, its difficult to be enthusiastic about giving head when you’re trying not to throw up on his dick
myreas: I don’t think refusing to go down on her would really help anything. Don’t do it if you don’t want to do it, but also don’t stop doing it in the hopes that she’ll see it as a punishment or a consequence of her selfishness. Maybe she’s indifferent or maybe she’s uncomfortable with going down on you or maybe she’s worried she’s not good at it or whatever – you won’t know until you ask.
sevendimes9: Easy fix, time to find a new girlfriend. You guys aren’t sexually compatible.
TeamYale: Next time you get a girlfriend, have a frank conversation about both of your preferences and boundaries when it comes to sex. Find out before you get into a relationship.
permanent_staff: Time to get a new girlfriend. Life is too short for dating people who don’t love oral sex.
midmarch: That is really weird. Yes, she should be giving you head if you like it.
sapbepe: Chocolate dipped banana fool the reflex
Or make it look like a hotdog if that makes sense
LiamBrennan2018: Yep. You need to dump her ASAP.
You don’t mention how old you are or how old she is. That could play a role in it. If she’s somewhere between 14-20 she just may be immature and selfish or not even know how to do it! If she’s over 20-22, it’s likely that she’s just not a giving lover. Some people – both guys and girls – think that as long as “they get theirs” that’s all that matters. But that’s obviously not a healthy relationship.
Unless she’s older older, there’s a good chance she will learn eventually. Guys will continue to be unsatisfied so she will give in or a guy might finally pressure her into it or something. But that’s clearly far too late for your time frame.
Move on. There are MANY other girls out there who are much more giving to their men. I mean in the 20s you should be “negotiating” anal or even further, not oral. Blow jobs should be expected. If they’re not given and given regularly, move on to the next one. You’ll find a girl who is either hung ho to do anything you want or might be willing to be “trained.”