Hello there, my sexy Badgers! Hope everyone is ready to chow down on some turkey and potatoes tomorrow. I will help you pass the time in the last moments before our very welcome break by answering some reader-submitted questions all about the big O and how to reach it.
I am a male and I live in the dorms, and while I always make sure to masturbate when my roommate is gone, I am unsure about what to do about cleanup. Any advice?
As I’m sure basically every guy learned around puberty, Kleenex is your best friend. I know shooting your wad onto your own stomach and cleaning up the mess is not the most appealing thing, but neither is your roommate knowing what you’ve been up to while he was at the library. The main problem with this solution is that a garbage full of cum-filled tissues definitely can leave the smell of sex lingering in your dorm room, and this is a neon sign indicating to any visitor how you choose to occupy your time. Two solutions for this: 1.) Febreeze that shit away or 2.) empty your garbage more often.
My last word of advice: I might recommend moving your solo activities into the showers. There at least all evidence is quickly washed away and cleanup is built-in —with no odor to alert others to your activities. Just aim so you don’t make a mess all over the stall walls, please.
I have never been able to orgasm with a partner. I can only “get there” from watching porn and using a vibrator. Help!
This concern is rampant among the female-bodied individuals in our society, with 24 percent of women reporting difficulty reaching orgasm in the last year according to an article printed in the Journal of the American Medical Association entitled “Sexual Dysfunction in the United States: Prevalence and Predictors.” Sometimes this inability to orgasm in front of another person comes from anxiety women experience as a result of society’s pressures on women to repress themselves sexually. Letting go of a lifetime of indoctrination about how a female enjoying her sexuality is unacceptable is an extremely difficult task, but not impossible. If this is the reason behind your problems, I recommend that you first try mutually masturbating with a partner in a way that you know will get you off — porn and vibrator included. Having them watch as you bring yourself to orgasm will help you adjust to the idea that not only is being sexual with another person okay, but it is very hot and absolutely fun. Once you past this step, move onto manual stimulation with your hand or a vibrator while your partner fucks you, and finally, let your partner control the vibrator. By following these steps and exploring your sexuality with your partner, the anxiety about letting yourself go in such an intimate way around another person will fade.
Now, if the lack of O comes from something much simpler, such as needing more stimulation than friction alone can give you, I have some tips for you. First, bring the strategies you already have solo into your hump session with your partner. Show him your favorite toy and invite him to use it on you as you peruse your favorite porn site together. Secondly, you can get a nice finger vibrator, slip it onto your partner’s finger and have him finger your clit as you both screw the night away. A finger vibrator is small and battery-operated, so you won’t have to worry about anything getting in the way. Or thirdly, readjust positions to help him reach your G-spot and provide an extra boost to your lovemaking.
The G-spot is located about an inch into the vagina and is a fabulous erogenous zone. To find it, simply insert your middle finger into your vagina with your palm facing up. Your G-spot is on the top wall of your vagina halfway between your vaginal opening and cervix. The spot should feel a little rough, almost like the surface of a walnut. That is where you want your partner to hit during sex to really get your juices flowing. A great position to help the D meet some G is to lie down on your back and place your legs on your partner’s shoulders as he leans over you. This will give him the perfect angle to send you into bliss and hopefully help you get your orgasm. Remember that every penis has a slight curve to it, so take advantage of this and position yourself in a way so your partner’s penis will curve towards your G-spot.
I have one final note about your question, dear reader. Orgasm is constantly cited as the “goal” of sex, but it doesn’t have to be. If you leave a sexual encounter feeling happy and satisfied, don’t cause yourself any worry just because you didn’t orgasm. Sex doesn’t need a magic “firework ending” to be great sex in the same way you don’t need dessert for dinner to be delicious. Getting hung up on reaching the finish line will keep you from enjoying the ride, so just let your need to reach orgasm go and instead go have some hot, carefree (but safe!) sex.
Well Badgers, that is all. Have a great Thanksgiving break. See you back here next week. Stay safe, stay sexy and keep the questions coming by sending yours to firstname.lastname@example.org.