What advice would you give me prior to using Tinder (for hook ups, mainly)?
I’m currently a very stressed out nursing student who doesn’t have time for a relationship but I definitely do have time for a hook up.
I currently have a FWB but part of me wants to try a new dick (I’ve only ever had two partners ever). I’m really hesitant about meeting people on Tinder. It’s really straight forward, but I want to establish some kind of “friendship” before I jump into sex with a total stranger. I’m really nervous about initiating things to that level so how do I get over that fear?
dejenerat: I think you should just be straight forward with your matches about what you want.
I’m pretty sure any guy would be delighted to get clear statements instead of vague indications. Good luck to you!
strokintilitsbroken: Assume everyone’s profile pic is at least five years old.
AsiatiquePassif: Disagree, I have had coffee with many respectable men (and many not-so-respectable men) on Tinder. It is just like real life. Your judgment and self-care dictate the types of people you end up sleeping with, just like meeting people in real life. There is zero obligation for you to meet, let alone sleep with, anyone on Tinder.
schuenkeo: I’m 29F and have been using Tinder for a couple months. Have gone on probably like 6 in person dates. Had literally thousands of matches. Messaged back and forth with maybe 50 dudes I responded to. I’m gonna be real honest. The pickings feel slim but it DEFINITELY is also dependent on where you live. I had better luck meeting more compatible people in the city vs smaller town I live in. Most all of the men I met had only been out of a long term relationship for like two months and didn’t disclose it until we met. One dude even still lived with his ex of 5 years . Any I were actually interested in only “wanted to be friends”. It’s a shit-show, my fellow lady-peer. If anything is good amusement.
vulvarvictory: Hey actually if you don’t have much free time, don’t use Tinder, use the League if you can. It’s much more efficient.
If you decide to use Tinder, download a cheat app like bonfire.
LondonCalling550: I’ve seen female friends’ Tinders. You’re going to have a plethora of guys trying to get in your pants, but how you conduct your profile will dictate much of the behavior directed towards you. You’ll be able to weed out those you don’t want. As a guy, Tinder is fun. As a girl, I’m sure it’s more fun.
spock2312: Trust your gut feelings with any and all aspects of this as to what is right for you. Are there any activities that you enjoy doing? These can not only be a stress reliever, but a great way to meet other like-minded people that you can get to know before hooking up. I can’t state enough about safety, where to meet, letting others know as a back up, arrange for a safety check-in/”escape” call as a way to back out on a bad match-up, and of course safe sex practices.
tallwhitejesusfreak: Not to use Tinder. I’d rather ruin a friendship than use Tinder. All it gives you is crazy guys and a nice case of HPV. Your fear is completely normal and healthy— it’s your innate survival mechanism telling you that this is a very fucking bad idea. I tried to be “friends” with guys on Tinder first and believe me…people on there (and myself, at the time) are so full of issues, their cases combined could amass billions in funding for mental healthcare research. And that was a few years ago when it was more mainstream and everyone had it. I shit you not. There’s a reason people are on there instead of establishing rapport with a hot friend-of-a-friend or someone they met in person. There’s a reason they’re using Tinder instead of more pro-safety/organic hangout apps like Coffee Meets Bagel. Land of the Batshit. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. Tinder is bottom-of-the barrel now. Garbage heap.
This is some honest girl-to-girl advice: please spare yourself the misery