How to Role Play without feeling weird?
I feel ridiculous when I “pretend” or act whatever you want to call it. I’m a shy person who found it difficult to be vocal in bed (but I’m over that now). Are there any ways to get over the weirdness factor I’m having? I want to do a little bit of the Dom/Sub and/or switch. I can talk about it to my BF prior to sex but when it comes down to it I freeze and always leave myself wanting more..
PracticeMakesPizza: Haha I feel the same. I’m very dominant in the bedroom but I’ve never done any role playing. I think certain scenarios would be really hot (school girl/teacher, secretary/boss) but I’d feel goofy acting it out at home (ohh yeah baby, you didn’t fax those forms out on time, come into my office for punishment immediately!)
It’s basically acting and sometimes I get stage fright 😳
MissQuickening: This is probably not that helpful, because I don’t know how many people would actually enjoy this, let alone their partner. The only bf I successfully roleplayed with (a LOT) was also into reading plays aloud with me (we liked Shakespeare a lot, but I think we’d really be down for most contemporary drama too, and we wrote drama together too). Anyway, we were both into theater, but even just starting out reading plays together was a little awkward sometimes at first, then we got really into it. We did this at home, school, the park–it was a really fun bonding activity, but we like literature.
Anyway, after acting together in that context, improv becomes sooo much more natural and really loses its weirdness, because you’re so used to taking on a role around one another.
So… this one goes out to any fellow lit nerds. It’s super fun and forays sooo well into far naughtier role playing.
MistressesSnowSlut: It gets easier over time! Keep some of yourself in your created character. I have a few tips.
My gf and I often do roleplay. We’ve done boss/employee, pizza delivery guy/customer, powerful rich folk, etc.
Dress up your character! What does a person in your character’s profession wear? What kind of make-up do they use? Dressing the part is really what sells most of it.
How do people in that profession talk? Are they wordy? Do they travel? Are they more down-to-Earth? You don’t have to speak foreign languages fluently, but throw in a few words/phrases if they travel a lot. Be yourself still, but with small twists. Throw in a “mon amour”/”mon cherie” once in a while if your character travels. But don’t go too off-kilter, still mostly talk like you normally do.
Don’t stick too hard to a specific script, you’re not reading lines! You’re regular person. Who happens to be a ________ (insert profession here).
Finally, try some new moves if you’re comfortable!
Hope this helps!
yesmissy: Practice! It gets less weird over time. 🙂
But yeah, the first few times it can feel sort of silly.
whiskey_pants: You may find it easier if you think about an alter ego for a long time. Imagine some other person you might enjoy being for a little while. You may even imagine details about her that you never use, like she maybe she loves the smell of fresh rain and hates cats, even if those aren’t true for you. I think the more you develop who *she* is, the easier and more fun it is to *be* her for a little while.
CatastrophicFlailer: My husband and I have sort of a “joke” about the naughty secretary, and he was doing work one day and said he might need someone to take some “dick”tation. I dress up for him a fair amount, but I can’t role-play because I just feel so ridiculous and embarrassed. Anyway, I went up stairs and put a nice button-up blouse on, this borderline-trashy pencil skirt I have and some heels, and put my hair up in a tight bun. Then I had an idea, and I texted him basically saying my company was hiring for x position, and that he had come highly recommended by many different people in the industry, and if he would be interested in coming to my “office” to discuss the “position” and possibly give me a demonstration of his talents. Once he showed up I totally clammed up and couldn’t keep it going without sounding… embarrassed, but he played it like a champ and was still totally into it. It was fun even though I’m lame.
Ageplay4me: I send him sexy stories complete with quotes through text or email and he replies back. Then we remember what each other likes and can rely on our “scripts” of things we’ve said in the emails. It’s not really memorizing word for word, but we both like reading and writing so it works for us. We also have phone sex. You will get comfortable once you just dive in and do it. It makes me more comfortable knowing that my partner is really into it and it really turns him on.