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Would you break things off of he couldn’t make you orgasm?
I’ve (19f) have been seeing this guy (22m), and haven’t had sex yet due to a temporary distance situation. The only way I’ve been able to orgasm with a partner is oral, and he absolutely refuses to go down. We plan on sleeping together this weekend, and who knows what’ll happen. But i want an opinion: If he can’t make me orgasm with PIV, and he refuses to give oral, what do I do?
WideIce: First off, refuse to give him oral. If he’s not giving it then by god he doesn’t deserve to receive it.
Secondly give it a go, he might have a magical penis for all we know!
I’m sure he’s lovely, but someone who just point blank refuses to give oral with no good reason surely isn’t with your sexual endeavour…he’s out to please himself, not you.
pokerbrowni: You could have just stopped with “He absolutely refuses to go down”.
Break up, Do Not Pass Go, Do Not Collect $200.
There’s too many men in the world who are thrilled to go down to waste your time on one who “absolutely refuses”.
Emack76: You should decide this for yourself. If receiving oral from your partner is important to you, then that’s that. Chances are that he won’t be able to give you that mythical PIV orgasm so I’m not sure you should hold out for that.
Personally, I don’t get involved with anyone who is hung up on the basics. Of course, my situation is completely different from yours. I put a high value on confidence, enthusiasm, sexual openness, willingness to explore, and willingness to please and be pleased.
Mirawenya: If oral is what you need, then that’s what you need. Not much you can do about it really.
As for myself, I’m in charge of my own orgasms, so no, he doesn’t have to make me orgasm. My current boyfriend can though, which is a first. But I’m 36, and have always been in charge of them myself. That he can finger me to one is a bonus imo. But not a must. But that’s me, not you.
MrWhiteRaven: Before jumping on the obvious answer, mind giving more context? If you know he refuses to go down on you then it might be because you guys have talked about it, did he give you a reason? Does he have bad experiences with going down on previous girls?
itsjustmeandthedog: Yes, b/c it’s a dealbreaker for you.
humbleclincher: I wouldn’t personally.
Orgasm is like a tiny part of sex. About 8-20 seconds of pleasure.
I enjoy every single minute of sex with my boyfriend, up to hours worth of it, and having an orgasm is pretty irrelevant to me. If I want one and he hasn’t managed, I can just do it myself.
tnias13: He has to learn. Every men loves to go down on a woman.. unless………..