The 5 Most Stressful Things About Anal Sex, According to Guys
It’s like standing on a high-dive trying to psych yourself up. You know it could be fun, but you need to focus.
1. It’s incredibly sensitive, and that makes it daunting. Unless the couple in question are anal play pros, a lot of thought and care needs to go into making love to a butt. It’s like defusing a bomb. Sure, you might be able to rush in there and go off instinct, but it’s probably best to do it with a lot of caution and a lot of communication. As fun as anal can be, that pressure is always going to be in the back of his mind. It’s like being handed the keys to a fancy sports car and getting to drive it around a track for a few laps. Sure, you want to have as much fun as possible, but you can’t even imagine what would happen if you crash it. You’d never get to drive it again. So you need to split the difference.
2. There’s a lot of prep-work. There’s so much build-up involved that it can get to you. Whether you’ll be giving or receiving, all the foreplay and the lubing up just heightens the tension. It’s like standing on a high-dive trying to psych yourself up to jump in. You know it could be fun, but you just need a few more seconds to get focused. Plus, all this fanfare means you might be less likely to do it again unless it’s a special occasion. For that reason, anal is like the fine china and silverware of sex. Some people are only going to bring it for company if they’re really worth the fuss. Others just don’t give a crap and will eat on their china plates whenever.
3. Poop, obviously. This is always in the back of everyone’s mind during anal, even if the odds of it actually happening are pretty low. It’s like riding a roller coaster. You know something horrible could happen and you might crash and die, but what is the likelihood of that, really? Even if it’s low, it’s still higher than if you never got on the roller coaster in the first place. And that’s the thing about anal. Doing it missionary probably won’t make you start pooping uncontrollably. But anal involves a calculated risk. It’s also pretty much guaranteed that you’ll both want to shower afterwards anyway.
4. The clean-up. ALWAYS use a condom. And in the case of anal, besides just making for safe sex, it makes for a much less stressful clean-up. Otherwise, it’s going to be a lot of dick-scrubbing for him and a lot of uh, sitting on the toilet for you. But even with that out of the way, depending on how things went, a change of sheets may be in order… plus lots of hand washing, probably.
5. The potential for you to really hate it. Again, this isn’t a concern for anyone who’s experienced with anal and knows they love it. But if this is a relatively new experience, one or both of you could wind up just not liking it that much. And if that’s the case, the sex isn’t fun for anyone. It’s important for your sake not to do anything in bed that you don’t like, because that’s your right. Don’t grit your teeth and suck it up just because you think it’ll make your partner happy. It’s like showing a friend your favorite movie, and you can tell they hate it but they’re sitting there, and suddenly you don’t feel like watching the movie either. And also, the movie is making your friend poop funny for a couple days after.