How to safely and enjoyably use anal sex toys without hurting yourself
Hey, it’s perfectly okay if you fancy venturing into the anal area.
It’s fun. It’s pleasurable. Why not try it out?
But if you do fancy it, please, please, please try out anal play safely – so you don’t join the long list of people who have to go to hospital because they’ve got something stuck inside their anal passage.
By safely, we mean only using toys specifically designed for anal play (no random household objects or vegetables, please), lubing up, and taking it slow.
Being interested in anal play isn’t anything to be embarrassed about. Skipping the important research bit and having to get medical attention because you’ve stuck a toothbrush up there, however, is. So read on.
Why do toys get sucked inside the bum?
A complete beginner’s guide to anal sex Anal_Illustration_Liberty-Antonia-Sadler_Metro-2
(Picture: Liberty Antonia Sadler/metro.co.uk)
The muscles around the anus are designed to clench. You know, to keep your poo moving along correctly and ensure nothing drops out unexpectedly.
This is part of the body’s self-protection, and usually it’s a wonderful thing.
But it means that if you put something inside your bum that’s not designed to be in there, your body’s anal mechanisms will clench, naturally sucking the object inside, clenching below it, and making it incredibly difficult to reach in and pull the object out.
Regular dildos and vibrators designed for vaginal use tend to be straight and narrow, meaning that they can easily get stuck inside when used anally.
That’s why you always need to make sure that you’re using toys specifically designed for anal play.
Sex toy expert Eve Fifer, of Ann Summers, told metro.co.uk that all the products they sell specifically for anal use have a flared base with a diameter of 6 and a half centimetres or more.
These bases act as a ‘stopper’, preventing the toy from getting stuck inside the body.
You can also try out specially designed prostate massagers, which – as well as being safe – are a great beginner’s toy for anal stimulation.
Make sure that you never put anything inside your bum, or anyone else’s, unless it has a flared base. So no cucumbers, non-anal vibrators, or lightbulbs. Just butt plugs and toys designed for bum fun. ‘Kay?
Always use plenty of lube
If you’re using a silicone toy, make sure you use a non-silicone lube, so your toy doesn’t get damaged over time.
There are lubes specifically designed for anal (mostly with cooling, numbing effects), but most water-based lubes will do the trick.
Just make sure to use plenty.
‘Apply enough to squeeze a manatee through a letterbox, and then apply more,’ suggests an expert from LELO.
If you’re trying out anal play with a partner, it’s something you’ll need to discuss first. Surprise anal is not okay. It’s painful and, well, it won’t work. If you’re not relaxed, it’ll be a struggle to get anything in there.
Both partners will need to be aware of the basic rules of anal: no forcing anything in, take it slow, and stop if it hurts.
Also, you’ll probably want some advanced warning before it’s going to happen so that you can make sure you’re comfortable and clean. Yes, we’re talking about taking a dump, then gently placing a finger inside yourself in the shower to make sure there’s nothing lingering.
Build up slowly
Start out small, with a narrow butt plug or a clean finger. Ann Summers does a great intro butt plug that fits on to your finger, so that’s a good place to start.
After you’re comfortable with that, you can slowly work up to slightly bigger sizes.
But you need to do that build-up. You can’t go straight in with the big guns.
Relax and have fun
The key to great anal play is relaxing and enjoying it. If you’re tense, it’s not going to feel great.
Just remember: sex is meant to be fun.
If you’re not into anal play, you don’t have to do it.
But if the idea turns you on, go right ahead, talk about it, learn about it, then do it (safely). It can be brilliant.